September 2011
1 post
The Wrestler
An aging pro wrestler is forced to cut his career due to health reasons. The harsh reality of “normal” New Jersey existence slams into him like a speeding tractor trailer when he realizes that outside of the ring he is actually a complete fuck-up. Then he continues being a fuck-up.
The Wrestler is a Darren Aronofsky’s exploratory journey into the land of gritty, depressing...
August 2011
6 posts
I love you, Beth Cooper
Class nerd, Paul Rust tries to score with popular cheerleader Hayden Panettiere. He fails. The only people getting fucked are those in the audience, as this confused teen comedy tries to forcefully ram it’s hackneyed message down their throats without any foreplay.
I love you, Beth Cooper is a 2009 Hayden Panettiere exposition device. A movie that was most likely created to give the young...
1 tag
Mr. Nobody →
The last mortal man on earth is on his deathbed. He tries to recall the memories of his long life, so that they can be recorded for posterity. His account however is contradictory. It’s as if the man was in quantum superposition, having experienced all possible lives instead of just one. Read my full review at Terminally Incoherent.
Unstoppable
Denzel Washington and Chris Pine stop a runaway train with the sheer power of their blue collar machismo.
Unstoppable is an entirely brain dead 2010 action thriller about a runaway train. It was loosely based on a true story, but it does not follow it. Instead it goes down the action movie cliche list, ticking down every single box.
A train, loaded to the brim with dangerous chemicals leaves the...
The Dilemma
A man discovers that his best friend’s wife is having an affair and proceeds not to be funny for two fucking hours.
The Dilemma is a 2011 “comedy” starring Vince Vaughn, Kevin Smith, Jennifer Connely and Winona Ryder. I put the word comedy in quotations, because the movie is more or less the opposite of funny. It is a long, drawn out, boring attempt at producing some worthwhile...
Easy A
Adorable Emma Stone learns that whoring it up to the max is not only fun, but also profitable.
Easy A is a 2010 teen comedy,which continues the grand Hollywood tradition of 20 something actors pretend to be high school students. Because having real teenagers talk about sex would be inappropriate, right? So we make pretend.
Emma plays Olive, a shy, unpopular girl who tries to score cool points by...
Hard Candy
Jailbait Ellen Page tortures a pedophile for an hour and forty five minutes, the movie. No seriously, you may think I’m joking but I’m not. That’s exactly what this movie is.
Hard Candy is a 2005 psychological thriller starring youthful Ellen Page and less youthful Patrick Willson and pretty much no one else. Its basically two people in a room talking. Oh, and dick torture.
...
